It "smells" like am alone

  It may feel strange to you, when you hear that i smell like am alone...but,yeah..!!this is a strange kind of feeling i had...It happens for me when am terribly alone in a  huge crowd..:( !!! ..i meant when only strangers are only there all around..

I experienced it for the first time when my grandpa passed away...I was only 12 then..

The body is being cremated.My dad,mom and all were engaged in some ritual practices..I was lost some where with lots of crows and strange crowd around..I searched for some familiar faces..but couldn't find any.It started smelling something strange for me..:( and was desperate..

The trees were still..as if holding their breath..not even a single breeze came to move a little leaf....Now the weeps and whispers behind the doors are more clear.I don't know what to do..All i know is, am absolutely alone..Where is mom???and dad????Is there anybody to hear me???Lips became dry...and forgot all the words i supposed to utter..

Little away..fire is set..fumes everywhere...My eyes were clouded and the sky darkened..Later it showered off...Is that the cries from heaven...???

Since then..it started smelling like a hell when am left alone..for God's sake it happened only for a couple of time ..the second time happened when i was left alone in a 100 years old hostel..!!! and not that furious as i had for the first time..!!